How unlikely the chance that we might become fast internet friends! You can’t image how overjoyed I was at having received that surprise message about how you chose to become my Twitter follower. It is a great way to start the new year, building new relationships with fresh-faced, attractive internauts such as you.

Your tweet feed is a curious blend of humorous quotes and what I would normally call “Reader’s Digest Wisdom.” What’s that? Do I spy a Steven Wright one-liner in there? And isn’t that one Wodehouse? Mabel, darling, you lose no points on the Internet when you correctly attribute the dazzlers you drop. In fact, it makes you seem all the more well-schooled.

Which, I suspect, is precisely what you are, Mabel!

I have made a note on a Post-It (confessional: from a pad that I swiped from a dentist’s office early last year) of your home page, and I will make sure to visit it as soon as I see to this email entitled “UK Loterry (sic) Winnings Belong To You” which, understandably, deserves my immediate attention.

More great news for the new year.